Friday, 8 October 2010

Career vs. Motherhood vs Marriage minus the Mulberry!

'a woman can be married, with children and have a career, but she can only do two out of the three well'.

Years ago, I didn't do much with this info. but I sure did remember it. Now that I'm a married mother, who has a career, I see a lot of truth in that statement. Not that I agree with it, but I can totally understand it better now. 
I was reminded of this idea this week. I met a couple of mums at a work related training course. One of the ladies (in her 40s, with 2 boys) confessed that she feels like she is juggling all the balls in the air and that she's scared that they're going to come crashing down all around her.                

She explained to us 'younger mums' that she is tired of trying so hard. Ouch! I completely empathised with her. There have certainly been times where I have felt that way. But this woman, on first impressions made me think 'wow, check her out with her mahoosive mulberry bag - love her!' (I know it was real as I could smell the cow as soon as she walked into the room!). This woman seemed so poised, so well put-together, so in control - but through the course of the day, I realised that she too was winging it, day by day (and she wasn't happy about it!). I should have known better really, after all, I used to be her, minus the Mulberry! A year later, I feel like a completely different person, still winging it - but now I'm happy to be winging it! : ) It is so much easier!

Whilst I still know what my priorities are, I am determined to be a good wife, a good mother and have a fulfilling career! Call me super-woman, or call me crazy but I honestly think I am pulling it off. I think anyone can. The secret lies in having your own definitions of what a 'good' mother is, what a 'good' wife is and what it means to have a 'good' career. My success in this 'happy to wing it' attitude has come from doing things my own way and not feeling the need to keep up with the Jones', the yummiest mummy at daycare or the person who works every waking hour of the day. 

Having my own definitions and raising my own tolerance for imperfection has helped me to beyond measure! I feel like I should write a book on it! Seriously, I am so less frazzled than I was a year ago - and whenever I hear another Mum say that its all getting too much, I just want to shake them (then cuddle them) and show them a technique that may just work. Heck, it could work for anyone who feels like they're juggling too much - Mummy or not, woman or not....

Reminding myself that I don't have to be perfect all day, every day is something that I have consciously  had to do this year and slowly but surely, I'm internalising it. And guess what (?) - it feels AMAZING! Mr O is happy, Little Miss O is happy and work-wise, things are going well... I'm very nearly done with my PhD corrections..woo hoo, it's happy days!!!

Of course, Mr O's fabulousness contributes to my being able to juggle these things...but this week, I feel like I owe myself a special shout-out (big-headed, I know, but sometimes you just gotta toot your own horn!).

In the past week, I have successfully balanced bible study time (thanks to my trusty iphone), work, a training course, a sick kid, a sick husband, a teleconference whilst on my own sick day, cooked 5 dinners, did two major house clean ups, hopped on and off 4 buses, (finally) named my theoretical model (phd stuff), submitted a revised chapter of my phd, obtained a CRB disclosure (woo hoo!), had a catch up with a friend, had a girly night out, laughed at the apprentice and ugly betty and now I've found a few minutes to update this here blog!

I feel like I've achieved a lot this week (thanks to JC) and I am one happy bunny! So, toot toot and yey for me! 

Have a great weekend!
Mrs O


  1. I made a comment this morning seemed to not upload...
    That feeling of juggling things and one day it might all drop... How I knwo it. I am not a mother or a wife just now but ur blog describes just how i feel sometimes working full time and studying. but as you say as long as you know what your idea of perfection is and go with that and leave the rest to JC, the juggling seems to keep going. And every so often tooting you own horn when u realise you achievementis a good thing. I def think you are superwoman Mrs O, no crazy going on there... GG

  2. Awww GG, can't believe it took me so long to respond to your lovely comment! Thank you and good luck to you too! No matter what we have going on, it can always get hard --- think of footprints --- think of JC and big up yourself too from time to time! : )


  3. You are one superwoman. I love your spirit :)

  4. awww it really isn't true Koinonia, but its kind of sweet that you think so! *blush* xxx

  5. Mrs O,
    Great blog... still going through!
    Hmmm nice to meet you and can I say Preach. I am an MD, new wife and new mom trying to juggle it all and hmmm...ko easy! I promised myself that my hubby n son will NEVER suffer for the career I have chosen and its only God that has brought me through. Hubby has also been a rock, not afraid to fill in whenever he is needed.

  6. awww thank you In the midst : ) Goodness, you must be so busy! Hats off to you x Good on you for vowing that your hubby and son will never suffer - but know that so long as they know you're trying your best - they'll never be suffering xxx


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...