Monday, 30 August 2010

A Wife's Responsibilities in Marriage

In my last post, I mentioned that I am reading 'The Strong Willed Wife' by Dr Debbie Cherry. It's all about using your personality to honour God and your Husband and it's centred on the idea of being submissive. 

Alas, I reached Chapter 8 'Rights and Responsibilities'. I am really liking this chapter in particular, as it sort of synthesises the guidance from the various books of the Bible on what Mr O and I should be doing in our marriage. My focus for the moment is on what I should be doing, after all, I want to be the best wife that I can be. That is what he deserves. So, according to Debbie's interpretation of the Bible, wives' responsibilities are:

To be a 'help meet' to your Husband
According to the first Bible story that we all know, Eve was created to be with Adam and fill some sort of gap. I like to think it means, that without me, Mr O could only go so far. Wink*wink. As the saying goes, behind every successful man is a woman! So, I am cool with the first aspect of my responsibilities, to support and encourage Mr O, and I am actually OK with him and his needs coming ahead of my own. 

To show respect to your Husband
The second responsibility unique to wives is showing respect. Of course I respect Mr O. How could I marry a man that I didn't respect? But the point of my duty as a 'wife' is to show him that respect - 24/7 - even when I do trip over the (painful) Birkenstocks that he leaves in unsuspecting corners of our home! sigh...
Regardless of the situation, I should show him the utmost respect. Debbie highlights how sometimes we give our best to the outside world and our husbands get the leftovers. We are always so much more kind and patient with strangers. It is very easy to do this, but it is just not OK. Mr O is my Husband, and if anyone should be getting the best of everything I have to offer - my time, energy, love and enthusiasm, it should be him, right? 
After reading this chapter, I will certainly continue to make an extra-concerted effort to make sure that EVERYTHING I do and say to him (and behind his back, for that matter) is out of the appreciation, admiration, love and respect that I have for him as my 'Husband'. 

Now for the third 'commandment' - brace yourselves!

To be submissive to your Husband
Eugh! Why does this word make me itch! Ephesians 5:22 states:
"Wives, submit to your Husbands as to the Lord". 
It is there in black and white, yet, I have tried to dress it up, dilute it, remix it and basically try any way of wriggling out of the FACT that I must submit to Mr O, just as I should submit to Jesus. If I submit to Jesus, how can I not submit to my Husband and if I submit to my Husband, how can I not submit to Jesus. 

Like I said before, this is a hard concept for me to grasp. But I feel that taking this conscious step to wholeheartedly submit to Mr O, will help me be more submissive to Jesus - which is totally something that I want to do - and soon! I guess I better read on, to unravel the 'myths' surrounding submission. I know what images my mind conjures up when I read the word 'submission', I just know deep down that I must be wrong...well, at least I hope so...

What do you think when you hear the word 'submission'? 

Mrs O



  1. I totally agree... you should read on to unravel the myths surrounding submission. I am not married, but I'm sure the author is not referring to wives bowing down and worshipping the ground their husbands' walk on (because thou shall have no other Gods before God himself), but I think it may be more like respect, love, and devotion.

    read on... and share what you have learned!

  2. Girl, I loved that book! I have so many parts of it highlighted and refer to it at least once a week to check myself and keep from acting a plum fool (and getting out of God's will). Submission is about obedience to God, pure and simple. You want to honor God? Then submit to your husband, plain and simple.


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